Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I Don't Want to be That Mom

I don't want to be that mom who gets angry because her potty training three-year-old peed on the floor. Again. And again. It's hard not to become that person when I start off the day at 9 o'clock in the morning to the sound of pee puddling on the floor. It's hard to put on a smiling face and not snap because these are the 7th, 8th, 20th? pair of pants to be peed on in the last 24 hours. It's so hard because I know he KNOWS how to pee in the potty. Or at least I know he CAN LEARN to pee in the potty.

I guess that really, I'm just angry with myself. I'm angry and frustrated because what I'm doing isn't working. I'm not doing the right thing. It's not working for me. If it was, I wouldn't be washing smelly toddler pants every day.

This is one of the things that is SO hard (and self-revealing) about being a mom. I have to smile and keep going, even though, now there is more work for me to do, and I'm already behind on the other stuff and clearly my potty-training parenting is not working.

I just want to yell and force things to go the way I want them to. Isn't that why people, parents, yell? To insist and demand that people listen to them and obey them?

That's why I want to yell. And scream, and cry and stomp my feet. I am frustrated and I don't have a better solution. What I was doing didn't work. So I want to insist and demand that he not pee in his pants or on the floor. Again.

But it doesn't work. Losing my patience just makes Jack push me more. He becomes an octopus in the bathroom pulling down the towels, unrolling the toilet paper across the floor, turning on the sink tap, slamming the door, standing upside-down so I can't change his pants. He tries to see just what I will do since I've already used up the very last of my patience.

So, I don't want to be that mom.

I want to be the mom who has the answers. The mom who can gently and encouragingly and effectively teach this boy to use the potty. The mom who can throw yet another load of toddler boy clothes in the wash with a smile--or better yet, the mom who only has to wash toddler boy clothes once a week!

I don't want to be that mom. I have to keep reminding myself when I start to turn into that mom. I have to just walk away and figure out another plan.


Swistle said...

I know exactly what you mean.

Colleen said...

Do you change his clothes for him when he pees? I was a nanny to a potty-training boy in another life. The only thing that finally worked for us was to make him change himself. He had to go upstairs, get out new underwear and pants and socks. He had to spend however much time it took to undress and redress. He hated that. I don't know if it would work for you... but it worked for him.

Good luck. And nobody blames you for being "that mom". Sometime... we're all "that mom".

mk said...

Being a Mom can be as frustrating as it is rewarding! Sorry! have you tried cherios in the toilet for better aim?

frannie said...

i am sorry that you are having a tough time with this. I've never potty trained a boy, but I've heard it's pretty difficult.

I knew someone that was going through something similar and she just put him back in diapers. figuring that he wasn't ready yet. about 6 months later, he got it.

I hope you get some relief.