Every Beck and Call

I love my job. I love taking care of my family. I love doing things for them and being the cog that keeps this machine running. But come on...Can I have some time to myself? Please?

I think this is the part about being a mother that you don't think about ahead of time. The fact that you are at the beck and call of the members of your family any time of day or night. I spend my early parts of the day doing their laundry and cleaning up their toys, while I have energy and feel like Super-Mom. I start projects like making delicious dinners and unpacking boxes. I clean the bathrooms and vacuum the floors. I run around the house keeping this family moving.

And then the day wears on and I wear down. I can't finish any of the things I started. I can't finish cooking dinner because the baby is crying. Jack is standing on the back of the sofa because he knows I'm trying to do 17 things at once and am not keeping a close eye on him. And then when dinner is ready I can't sit and enjoy it because I have to bounce the baby on my knee and get up because I forgot to set the table with salt. And then Jack needs more juice. And then I forgot to turn the stove off. And then something in the microwave is beeping. And then we need something else out of the fridge. And before I know it, Jack is done eating, my husband is done eating and the baby is content to be bounced and I have only eaten half my dinner and now have a whole kitchen to clean up.

You would think I would get time to myself once the babies were in bed...but oh no, the job doesn't end there. Sarah doesn't go to bed. From 7:30 until 9:30 or 10, she is grumping at me to walk her around and generally hold her and cuddle her until she falls asleep.

So by the time both babies are in bed asleep and I am ready to decompress, my husband (who I haven't had a conversation with all day) is drifting to sleep and I am crashing into my pillow.

And then in a few hours, the baby will wake me to eat, and before I know it my husband will get up for work. And then I will spend the only solitary time of my day in the shower.

Bleary-eyed and not quite awake, I look out the windows of my bathroom at the sun coming up. And I thank God for these three beautiful people. They are the light of my days. And I LOVE taking care of my family.